This is just all kinds of awesome:

Masturbation often promises the pleasure but can never fulfill your inward void. And the many people that it has imprisoned by its non~threatening lure to satisfy your sexual desires, come to find that the trap is not worth the 3 seconds it took to get it. Trust me, I've been there, and I'd rather have cold, dry sheets than to fondle my self. Two things I've come to know about masturbation is this:

1. It brings shame, and...
2. It is addictive

Most people who have engaged in masturbation know that the culmination of this sexual act ends in shame.

First, I think he means "inner void" and not "inward void." Filling an inward void is called fucking. (So right there you might not want to take this dude's advice on sex.) While it's true that jacking off isn't as fulfilling as great sex with someone there's middle ground between that and empty despair. I mean, I love chocolate cream filled donuts but if the last one in the box is plain glazed I don't end up...

Curled up in a fetal position, crying, because your bed is even more empty and you're lonelier than you did before you violated yourself.

Drama queen. Can you imagine being his JO buddy?

What's funniest, and most irritating, is the projection going on. He's an emotional mess after and knows others who are so everyone must feel deep shame after masturbating. And I know it's like talking to a brick wall when it comes to people who factor their god into their sex lives, but with addiction the problem is never what one's addicted to it's the propensity to become addicted. Plus, what constitutes addiction has become silly. If it's not interfering with putting a roof over one's head and paying the bills and it's not causing physical harm or unhappiness then it's a hobby. Or a passion. Or just a good way to make a nice hot shower even better. Though if you're environmentally conscious I guess you might want to check for drought alerts in your area before a nice long wank under the shower head. You End of Times types or general nihilists, go ahead and beat off till the hot water's gone and you're a prune.

My last thought on this is: colds sheets? Absent a heatwave I prefer warm sheets. And a tissue, sock or designated cum rag will keep them dry. Save a few fetishists, who would want to shoot all over the sheets and themselves and then sleep in it? This is what happens when you don't teach people about most any thing: they make a mess and cry rather than clean it up. (And weeping fetal position hysterics are also why suggesting he eat his cum to keep things tidier would be a waste of time.)

On to notable recent Sex Listings updates. This reads more like the dude was cruising a toilet at the United Nations:

New York New York City: College Point Video, 36-05 College Point Blvd., Flushing, Queens. Bookstore with arcade. This update added February, 2009: "I stopped in today. Planned on staying fifteen minutes or so and getting off. Ended up sucking off a bunch of guys in one hour and there were more but I had to leave. The first guy was a hot young Latino. Second guy was older with a huge cock. Then I had a three-way with an average guy and the same huge-cock guy. Then it was an Asian guy in his thirties with a nice dick. Then there was a black guy. There was a hot forty-ish Latino guy checking me out before I left but I had to get going. There were some trolls too but I got some hot guys and nice cocks. I will be back!"

And for this one I suggest submitting comments to CDOT indicating this should be the nation's first designated public sex park. The savings of not needing law enforcement to patrol it other than for the occasional safety check will far outweigh the cost of condom and lube dispensers:

Colorado Larkspur: Rest area, off I-25, southbound. Cruisy toilet. This update added February, 2009: "This rest area is currently closed and may remain closed indefinitely. CDOT is taking public comments on what to do with this rest area. I will miss it if it's gone!"

I'm sure my plan would be well received.

If you submitted a Sex Listings update before noon PST it's online and the list of places I've recently posted updates for is below. This is my 3,196th day working for Keith and CFS. And it is my last full-time day. I'll be here part-time for just a bit more, though hopefully longer, editing the Listings and such. We've been winding down my duties for a few months so this transition to only part-time and very specific tasks doesn't feel like a major shock. It will probably sink in come next week when I don't have to check email all day long, proof ads, approve photos, etc. But I will be here posting your updates as usual so enjoy your holiday weekend, gentlemen, and please take some time to send us your tips and updates.

Sex Listings...

US
Alabama Steele
Arkansas Conway
Arizona Phoenix
California - Northern Chico, Merced, Redding, San Francisco
California - Southern Los Angeles, Palm Springs, Riverside and San Bernardino Counties, San Diego
Colorado Colorado Springs, Denver
Connecticut Bridgeport, Hartford, Naugatuck, Waterbury, Willimantic
Florida Fort Lauderdale, Key West, Miami, Orlando, Palm Beach County, Tampa Bay
Georgia Atlanta, Jasper, Lula, Statesboro
Hawaii Honolulu
Illinois Atkinson, Chicago
Indiana Lafayette, Michigan City
Iowa Grinnell, Ottumwa, Waterloo
Louisiana Broussard
Maine Kittery
Maryland Baltimore, Beltsville, Frederick
Massachusetts Attleboro, Berlin, Boston, Dedham, Erving, Hancock, Holyoke, Hopkinton, Lowell, Pittsfield, Templeton
Michigan Marshall, Muskegon
Missouri Columbia
Nevada Las Vegas
New Jersey Egg Harbor, Livingston, Red Bank
New Mexico Albuquerque, Santa Fe
New York Albany, Long Island, New York City, Newburgh, Peekskill, Poughkeepsie, Syracuse
North Carolina Winston-Salem/Greensboro/High Point
Oklahoma Alva, Oklahoma City/Norman
Pennsylvania Beaver Falls, Bethlehem, Philadelphia, State College, Wilkes-Barre
Rhode Island Providence
South Carolina Greenville
Texas - Eastern Dallas, Hickory Creek, Houston, San Antonio, Tyler
Texas - Western Lubbock
Virginia Waverly
Washington Bremerton, Olympia, Seattle
Washington DC
West Virginia Huntington
Wisconsin Lyndon Station

ELSEWHERE
Australia Sydney (New South Wales)
Brazil Rio de Janeiro
Canada Windsor (Ontario)
Costa Rica San Jose
England London
Germany Frankfurt
Saint Martin Cupecoy
Spain Madrid

It's been a bit since I've given an update on updated Sex Listings. The job hunt has me a bit obsessed. My dog has a stomach issue that I think will require a visit to the vet and lord knows where I'll get the money for it. And if one more person says "when it rains it pours" to me I'll snap. Yes, I know. I'm standing in the middle of a downpour. No need to f-ing tell me.

Thank goodness some of you are having good times out there. It's a nice thing to get into editing the Listings and I can forget my own troubles. This was one of my favorite recent updates. I drove most of the Blue Ridge Parkway once. But I was with two friends and my dog in a minivan full of belongings. So there was no stopping for blue collar guys in trucks let alone following them home to get fucked.

North Carolina Asheville: Chestnut Cove Overlook, Blue Ridge Parkway. Scenic overlook near mile marker 400. This update added February, 2009: "I've been loving this place lately. Went up here to eat some lunch and enjoy the view. A big red truck pulled up, and backed in next to me. An older blue collar type asked me for a light, and then if I liked cock. Next thing I know I was following him home where he fucked me till I begged him to stop."

This update was one of those thoroughly useful reviews I love seeing. It's informative about what you'll likely find there but it's personalized and we get to read a little detail about an actual experience.

Ohio Cleveland: Flex Cleveland, 2600 Hamilton Avenue. Bathhouse with full facilities. This update added January, 2009: "Heading towards Cleveland for the first time (driving through, heading east to NYC), we called ahead from the car for information. What we got was attendant Manny, who was informative, enthusiastic and professional. Arriving at the club later that night, we were amazed. What a great layout! Clean and spacious, well-maintained. Alas, the large steamroom maze wasn't functioning and that's what I was really looking forward to! Still, we were impressed with our cabana rooms in the ‘quiet’ section of the club, loved the pool and spa, and had great fun wandering the halls, slipping into and out of rooms, and fucking and sucking with glee. It would have been nice if there had been twice the number of men in such a large establishment (when wouldn't it be?) but it was well below freezing outside, so perhaps that was the problem. But inside it was hot and steamy and we're looking forward to returning in the Spring when we can take advantage of the outdoor pool and sundeck. Living here in sex-starved, post-Giuliani New York City, we envy those of you who have such great establishments to visit."

This one has me confused. I don't care how loose an ass is how can someone back it up onto your dick through a gloryhole so fast you didn't have time to pull away? And I've never confused the feeling of an ass with a mouth no matter how good the blowjob was.

New York New York City: X-Pressions, East 53rd Street, Manhattan. Bookstore with arcade. This update added February, 2009: "I was getting blown and the guy backed his ass up on my cock, bare, without even asking me."

This last one I decided not to put in the Listings and deleted it. This is just the sort of suggestion you shouldn't take. Like your cruising area? Vandalism will guarantee it will be gone because of modifications and/or increased surveillance equipment or police.

The latest thing I have noticed at other rest areas across the country with lights up in them is that people have started to put black heat resistant paint in those toy super soaker squirt guns and blast the lights with black paint to dim the lights down!...This place needs a good squirt!

That's all for me tonight. I'm off to obsessively check online job postings until bedtime. Here are the update locations for Sex Listings over the last week or so. Keep them coming and keep my mind occupied, gentlemen!

Sex Listings...

US
Arizona Casa Grande, Lake Havasu City, Phoenix, Yuma
Arkansas Bentonville, Fayetteville, North Little Rock, Short Hills
California - Northern Placerville, San Francisco
California - Southern Los Angeles, Orange County, Palm Springs, Riverside and San Bernardino Counties, San Diego
Connecticut East Hartford, Groton
Florida Fort Lauderdale, Melbourne, Miami, Palm Bay, Palm Beach County, Tampa Bay
Georgia Atlanta, Duluth, Savannah, Statesboro
Hawaii Honolulu
Illinois Chicago, Galesburg, Ottawa, Springfield
Indiana Clarksville
Iowa Iowa City, Tipton
Kansas Wichita
Louisiana Broussard, New Orleans
Maryland Beltsville, Bishop, College Park, Greenbelt, Laurel, Wye Mills
Massachusetts Bernardston, Boston, Cummington, Easthampton, Holyoke, Raynham, Springfield
Minnesota Duluth
Missouri Jefferson City, Kansas City, Saint Louis, Springfield
Nevada Las Vegas
New Hampshire Seabrook
New Jersey Berlin, Denville, Hamilton Township, Lawrence Township, Newark/Jersey City, North Bergen, Paramus, Paterson, Randolph, Union
New Mexico Farmington
New York Harriman, Long Island, Mattydale, New York City, Niagara Falls
North Carolina Asheville, Pinehurst, Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill, Swannanoa, Wilmington, Winston-Salem/Greensboro/High Point
Ohio Cleveland, Findlay
Oklahoma Oklahoma City/Norman, Stillwater
Oregon Portland
Pennsylvania Erie, Milroy, Philadelphia, State College, Wilkes-Barre
Rhode Island Providence
South Carolina Charleston, Greenville
Tennessee Hendersonville, Memphis
Texas - Eastern Austin, Conroe, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio
Virginia Hampton Roads/Virginia Beach/Newport News
Washington Seattle, Tacoma, Vancouver
West Virginia Cana, Clarksburg, Martinsburg
Wisconsin Greendale, Lyndon Station, Milwaukee

ELSEWHERE
Australia Brisbane (Queensland), Sydney (New South Wales)
Belgium Brussels
Dominican Republic Santo Domingo
England London
Estonia Tallinn
Japan Tokyo
Mexico Tijuana
Switzerland Zurich